I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
