The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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