Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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