I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
