i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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