why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize