Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

  (847): View more from Illinois

  details on that.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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  (312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com (847): details on that. (312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes. http://tfl.nu/50kk
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (973)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6850) Bad night (1362)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

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  (419): Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?" http://tfl.nu/fz6y
  Replies (26) Good night (1030) Bad night (4568)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

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  (409): Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test. http://tfl.nu/4vmp
  Replies (25) Good night (1394) Bad night (4780)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

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  (631): My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud http://tfl.nu/p0vi
  Replies (44) Good night (1646) Bad night (18909)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

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  (253): Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser. http://tfl.nu/y4fk
  Replies (16) Good night (5790) Bad night (1462)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

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  (952): Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you. http://tfl.nu/1zuw
  Replies (13) Good night (1367) Bad night (4052)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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  (605): After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it. http://tfl.nu/6bjl
  Replies (6) Good night (2305) Bad night (869)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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  (315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n
  Replies (30) Good night (3485) Bad night (1698)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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  (432): This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire. http://tfl.nu/8ui6
  Replies (10) Good night (2269) Bad night (1187)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.

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  (518): I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments. http://tfl.nu/u4vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (962)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.

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  (208): Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap. http://tfl.nu/81wb
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (842)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"

  (516): View more from New York

  Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton

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  (267): There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians" (516): Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton http://tfl.nu/e4k4
  Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (314)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.

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  (813): I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes. http://tfl.nu/ikkg
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (256)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.

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  (512): Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart. http://tfl.nu/cqbu
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (256)

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