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• (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  How'd that go?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  We had sex on a dog bed..

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