Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (236) Good night (65533) Bad night (2691)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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  (361): I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing. http://tfl.nu/i6wh
  Replies (29) Good night (567) Bad night (3650)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco

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  (734): it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco http://tfl.nu/syi8
  Replies (19) Good night (3176) Bad night (984)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4433) Bad night (988)
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  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7484) Bad night (930)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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  (208): i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home. http://tfl.nu/7itp
  Replies (2) Good night (2102) Bad night (790)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.

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  (419): There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself. http://tfl.nu/9p33
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (1090)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.

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  (509): Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself. http://tfl.nu/tjqn
  Replies (14) Good night (1712) Bad night (741)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.

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  (406): I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night. (1-406): You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7pyy
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (475)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (444)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.

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  (913): Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me. http://tfl.nu/qrex
  Replies (7) Good night (413) Bad night (918)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS

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  (614): TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG (1-614): HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS http://tfl.nu/fp5t
  Replies (10) Good night (1557) Bad night (654)
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  (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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  (+86): Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs. http://tfl.nu/vpgv
  Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (279)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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  (850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (183)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.

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  (908): I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be. http://tfl.nu/dw4c
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (177)

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