I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me