the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
