Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My life is pants optional.
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