Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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