So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
