Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
