Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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