That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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