The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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