You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
