3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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