We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
