I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
