It's just like the Real World with babies
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
