I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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