i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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