she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
