I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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