yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
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So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize