I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The police scanner is talking about you again....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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