so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
