my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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