I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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