So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
