if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
