you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
