So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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