Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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