What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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