Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
