Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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