No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
