when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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