your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
