is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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