Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My breasts were aching with rage.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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