I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
