After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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