omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
