is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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