Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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