Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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