Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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