you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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