hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize