you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
