So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
