she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
