ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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