question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
