HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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