I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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