This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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